Unpacking Petr's Gift

My dear old friend Petr sent me a box of gifts he had picked up at a kinky event. He insisted I send him pictures when I had unpacked them. I promised to do that.

Somehow I knew it might be a bit risque, and it turns out my suspicions were correct. Wouldn't you agree?

Dear Bock: Bodily Fluids?

Dear Bock,

I hear you are the relationship expert. My husband "Fredericko" (I changed the names to protect the innocent, or to not have him find out) has some peculiar interests in the boudoir. He likes me to be sticky and will not offer a warm moist washcloth after love making nor will he allow me to shower. Should I be concerned? Is this the beginning of some kinky sex play that I should run away from? Please help.

Sincerely,
Sticky House Husband Brad

Dear Brad,

Ahhh the eternal question about bodily fluids and their permissibility or not in sexual relations. 

Body fluids are liquids secreted or excreted from our living bodies (among others breast milk, blood, feces, pus, saliva, semen, smegma, sweat, tears, urine, vaginal secretions and vomit etc). All body fluids can carry STDs, so should not be entertained with someone whose serostatus is unknown. 

I always say, if both participants are consenting adults who want it or are OK with it, just go for it. If one wants it and the other doesn't, you have a problem that needs to be communicated and solved. 

No one should suffer during sexual activities or be forced to do something they do not want, it should all be about fun, enjoyment and - for most of us - expressing your love or warm delightful feelings. 

If your lover likes you "sticky" after your lovemaking while you find it absolutely abhorrent, try talking about it and negotiate it to something that is acceptable for both of you. A good start could be if you agreed to try lying on your back and thinking of the Empire for 5-10 minutes before rushing to the showers the next 3-5 times you have sex. Then again, if it is something absolutely unthinkable for you, a determined "No!" should suffice and no trials are needed.

If that works out for the two of you, then consider gradually increasing the time. If you still find it totally unacceptable, then you need to drop that activity and find other venues. The landscape of sexual activities is a wonderfully abundant smorgasbord to pick and choose from, there will be things you both will enjoy.

ADDENDUM & EDIT: Initially I had written a summary here of my own personal likes and dislikes concerning the listed body fluids, which I have on later revision decided to remove as it could be perceived as judgemental.

Suffice it to say, if I had a lover who wanted to run to the shower immediately after orgasm, I would most definitely be bothered, disturbed and insulted. But that's just my personal tastes...

Bock McMillan is a blogger, not a relationship expert, his weekly column "Dear Bock" should therefore merely be considered as his point-of-view on relationship matters. If you wish to get his reaction to a relationship question you have, you are welcome to send an email to lundamats@gmail.com. Remember to write "Dear Bock" in the subject line.

Like Moths To A Flame

I don't consider myself to be that much to look at in my first life, but recent incidents on my daily train travels between my work and home seem to indicate that I now have suddenly become attractive to certain sections of the gay or bisexual male population who are roughly half my age.

A beautiful Cecropia Moth

Twice in the last two weeks I have been hit upon by quite handsome and much younger men. I think they must have a weird kink for middle-age men and I certainly don't feel particularly tempted to engage.

The incidents remind me of something my best friend, a straight man, told me recently about an encounter he had with a woman half his age.

My friend has always been popular among the ladies for his good looks and charming ways. He is single at the moment and was out on the town where he happened to meet a young woman in a bar. She supposedly hit on him really hard so after a few drinks and some talk they went back to my friends place for some heterosexual fornication.

All went exceedingly well at first up until the woman suddenly started telling him "F*ck me, you dirty old bastard!" and other things referring to his much older age. He confessed that he was so badly shocked by the verbal abuse that he completely lost the ability to continue performing.

Even though I may have reached an age that fulfills some younger men's kinky desires, I know I would not like to perceive myself - or being perceived by others, let alone someone I am having sex with - as a dirty or old man.  I don't think I will give in to their alluring charm, at least not without careful consideration. Besides, I have always been more attracted to men who are roughly the same age as I am.