On Funerals

Today I am thinking about funerals.

This is because I read about Mrs. Barbara Bush's funeral today and how the current president Donald J Trump had been asked please not to attend which made me think about this quote from Yogi Berra*: "Always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't go to yours." 

I hope there will be droves and droves of people at my funeral and that no one will have to be asked not to attend. There is nothing quite as sad as a funeral with very few people.

*) Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra (May 12, 1925 – September 22, 2015) was an American professional baseball catcher for the New York Yankees.

P.S. "Food, serve them good food and drink and they will come!", I thought. So now I am going to set aside a good sized amount in my will for food and alcohol for the funeral lunch. 

Sudden Cardiac Arrest

The cause of death that will appear on my dad's death certificate will be "Sudden Cardiac Arrest".

There are several possible reasons for SDA, Whatever the reason may have been in my dad's case will remain unknown as the doctor has kindly decided to follow the request of my mothers, my sister and myself, not to perform an autopsy.

We have spent time together in the immediate family and have tried to focus on the immediate practical issues that a death causes. Everyone who should be informed, has been informed. We have also made an appointment with the undertaker designated by my father and are to meet with him on Sunday to go through the practical arrangements of the funeral in accordance with my fathers wishes.

Dad has left exact instructions about how he wanted things to be done and they will be followed to the letter. He wanted to be cremated and then placed in a memorial grove without any ceremonies, songs or speeches. 

As I understand it the family is never allowed to be present when the mortal remains are placed in a memorial grove so as not to know the exact spot. We have decided as a family, despite some initial objections by my mother, that we can live with that arrangement.

My mother is restless and has - like me - not been able to process the event fully yet, but both of us will get there in time. I am not going to try to force it anymore. What will be, will be.

One thing I have learned these past days, is how helpful and calming it is for the immediate family that the deceased has left clear instructions concerning their wishes. Whenever a question has arisen concerning something, we have gone to my fathers documents and found the answer there.

I have promised myself that I am going to start jotting down my own wishes in the event that something happens, both concerning burial arrangements and everything else that my survivors may need, including a letter to Linden Lab with a will concerning my wishes regarding my SecondLife "assets". One never knows when death strikes and we cannot always delay until we feel it is upon us.

Southern Charm

The view we fell in love with at Southern Charm

Soon after Ars and I became a couple back in December of 2007, we started to look for somewhere to live together and spent all Ars free time sim-jumping to search for a place we both liked.

We had made a joint list of criteria for what we were looking for.

1. No boring beach property
2. Affordable
3. Big enough. i.e. with enough prims over after setting up the house.surroundings and furniture. to allow Ars to build without too many limitations
4. A reliable and secure landlord - we had both heard too many stories about the other kind

Usually Ars would have prepared a list of places to check out beforehand and pretty soon after I logged inworld we were off on our hunt. We had a good time doing this and enjoyed being in each others company.

After about a week or so we first came to the Southern Charm sim, which seemed to meet with all our criteria except the affordable. I was the stingy one, after all the relationship with Ars was so fresh and I did not want to commit to something that could be difficult to pull out from if things turned sour.

We both fell in love with the house straddling the waterfall at once, so after seeing that we just kept coming back. Finally I gave in and we started negotiations with the landlord.

The sim was at that time owned by Spyder Jewell, but was managed by his wife Jazzine, a smart, funny and wonderful American woman.

Jazzine took to me as soon as I had made Ars question her about the "no nudity" clause in the covenant. Finally we made an explicit agreement stating that I (and Ars) could run around on our property as naked as we wished as long as we did not tote a boner outdoors and wore clothes when visiting with the neighbors.

With that essential point settled we started negotiations on how many parcels we were going to rent, which parcels and what the total tier would be. I had complete confidence in leaving Ars to handle that when I logged off that night.

Next day when I logged in Ars told me triumphantly that we were now the proud tenants of two parcels on Southern Charm, including the one with the waterfall. We were jubilant and immediately started furnishing and decorating.

As time went by, we increased our land with a third, fourth and fifth parcel until we rented more than half the sim. At that point Spyder and Jazzine encountered financial difficulties (or perhaps just decided to move on from SecondLife) and offered us to take over the full sim so we would rent it directly from Linden Lab. (That´s called landowning in SecondLife.) Because I am a citizen of the European Union we decided to name Ars as the sim-owner so we wouldn't have to pay the additional VAT-tax on landowning fees that the EU forced on the Lab.

After Ars passed away in February 2010 there was some paperwork needed to transfer the sim from his estate to me. Luckily, I had the full cooperation and understanding of his father and family in doing so, everyone is not so fortunate.

In hindsight it is my firm recommendation to anyone who co-owns anything whatsoever in SecondLife, to see to it that you make a will bequeathing any joint - or for that matter personal - property to the survivor. It is actually also in accordance with Linden Labs rules to bequeath the avatar itself and all of it´s possessions to the surviving partner.

Ars and I were too happy together and probably thought nothing bad could happen to change it to do any of those things, it almost cost me the dearest memories I had of him and our time together. Do not make the same mistake!

Will & Kate

The McMillan household today issued a communique in which The Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm, extends his warmest congratulations to his dear friends Will and Kate on their wedding day. He also regrets that his invitation to the wedding and dinner of the day had been so delayed by UK Postal Services and Linden Labs that he unfortunately couldn't attend.

Since the communique was issued today most renowned  McMillanologists believe that "Will and Kate" may very well refer to Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, and Miss Catherine Middleton, who were married today.

It is commonly believed among the lesser members of the household that the cock-ups delaying the invitation was orchestrated by "the wicked old Queen, MI5 and/or MI6 and perhaps even the CIA" to prevent the laird from attending. No evidence of such a cabal has however come to light - yet.